Monday, September 22, 2014

The Wasp Whisperer















SC Paderborn 07 II (U23) 4

 VfB Fichte Bielefeld 2

Westfalenliga Staffel 1

A nice little 91.7km drive to the village of Marienloh which is a suburb of Paderborn, to see their reserves take on the mighty Fichte. We went into the game unbeaten and coming off the back of a 9-0 away thrashing of a Kreisliga C team in the Kreispokal. They all count!

The ground is one of these ghastly purpose built efforts where the reserves train and play, one side a 3G pitch, the other a grass one. Still at least they had a nice cage for their robot mower.

 The merry band of Fichte fans (all four of us) started to put out the flags when I noticed that Bagpuss was missing. I had left him at home. We would not win today.

The ground was awful. Just a hard standing on both sides, with no cover and a couple of metal benches set so far back from the pitch that you wouldn't really be able to see anything if you sat on one. No spectator facilities  behind either goal. 



Matti Kuuse started in goal, his only previous two appearances coming in the Kreispokal, where against SV Häger he saved a penalty. The  game started and within 9 minutes we were ahead, a wicked free kick from Soner Dayangan on the left and Chif Sadicki rose highest to glance home his 4th of the season. 
Top scorer Chif Sadicki


But 4 minutes later, Kuuse came out for a one on one and brought his opponent down, penalty to Paderborn and Victor Maier made no mistake from the spot.

In the 21st minute, Sadicki lost the ball on the halfway line from a Fichte attack and the ball popped through to Admir Saric, who left two defenders for dead before putting the home team 2-1 up. 

In between this, a wasp had started to buzz around, annoying one of our party, so Frankie coaxed the wasp away with a beer bottle. It had to be seen to be believed, as Brer Wasp followed the stench of Paderborner Pils away from the massed ranks of Fichte fans. 
 

 Just before halftime and Saric curled a shot in from 30 yards to make it 3-1 to the hosts.

The team were a long time coming out for the second half, and whatever manager Yorck Bergenthal said at halftime seemed to have the desired effect, as we looked a lot more up for the game, and after 51 minutes confusion in the Paderborn area Ivica Ivecevic poked the ball home to give us some hope.

Indeed the equaliser should have been forthcoming as Sansar made his way into the area, only to ignore the 3 on 1 situation and try to score on his own.  

I think we all know where this is going. With Fichte stretched looking for the goal that would keep their unbeaten run intact, Marcel Salokat seemed to hover in the air for ages from a set piece before heading the ball past Kuuse for a 4-2 result for the home side. 
Let them lie
 RATINGS

 Clubhouse:     7/10
 Seats:            None. A few metal benches scattered about but not really for    spectators 
 Behind goals: Pathway
 Cover:            None 
 Barrier:         Metal fence 
 Bratwurst:     €2 - 8/10 (Thanks to Helmut for the rating) 
 Beer:            €1.50 - Warsteiner (coffee was €1.30 for a mug)
 Entrance Fee: €5 
 Friendliness:  6/10 
 Programme:   None 
 Weather:       6/10 
 Ground:        5/10 
 Home fans:   2/10 

Thursday, August 28, 2014

How many sheds?

 










 SV Häger 0 VfB Fichte Bielefeld 2

Herforder Pils Cup 1st Round


I had missed the first two Fichte games of the season through various commitments. But a 1-1 draw at home in the first game, with a injury time equaliser from new signing Anthony Eviparker versus Grün-Weiß Nottuln, and followed up by a 1-0 victory away at TuS Dornberg saw us in 4th place in the league after two games.

Todays 71km jaunt was actually the 1st round of the Kreispokal, named now after the sponsors Herforder Pils against Bezirksliga team SV Häger. 

I had been to this ground a number of times when I lived in the area, as a mate played in goal for them. It was said, not without reason, to be the smallest ground in the area. And as I remember it, it most certainly was. It was just a football pitch, with a wire mesh fence seperating it from a cornfield and the spectators, what little there were of them, stood less than 2 feet from the touchline. 

So imagine my glee (ok, not really glee but I so wanted to say that word. "Glee". See? I did it again) when I looked on Google Maps and found a brand new 3G pitch behind the old grass effort. 

The old grass pitch   
 But how to get there? The car park is situated behind a pub, which to my knowledge of the mid 00's has never been open. Then one has to walk along a road beside the old grass pitch to reach the new pitch a few hundred yards down the road. 

The long and winding road, not long and certainly not winding
 
The ground....well, what can I say? It's a 3G pitch, with a few sheds down one side. Yes, sheds. My biggest chagrain is that I didn't photograph them, but there was a home shed, and an away shed, and a I am assuming neutral shed. The fact is...the changing rooms are located down the road, and past the pub which is closed, so the players have a 500m (at least) hike back to get changed after the game. 

Oberwelland-Park, my arse
 The starting line up contained 5 of the starters from the 1-0 win at Dornberg on Saturday, and both teams settled into an early rhythm without threatening the goal. Disaster struck as Häger were awarded a penalty in which the player smashed over the bar. In the 21st minute, Jens Hirsig spanked in a shot to make it 1-0.

Just before half time one of our players saw a second yellow (don't ask me who, I was looking at the cornfield behind the goal) and we were down to 10.

More flags than fans


In the half time break I needed to wee (too much info?) so took advantage of the Portaloo they had there next to the row of sheds.

In the second half another penalty was awarded to Häger but Matti Kuuse in the goal parried it away. Two minutes from time a cross was floated in from the left and Eviparker got his head to it, and floated a textbook header into the net to make in 2-0.

Token match shot

We (all four of us) chanted his name to which he responded with a round of applause. After the game, every player came and thanked us for our support. There was even time for a quick chat with Häger's player coach Hüseyin Geceli who is an ex player of ours. 

Sunset over the fields

 RATINGS

Clubhouse: Nope, unless you count a shed
Seats: Sort of. I took a plastic chair and plonked myself down on it
Behind Goals: Hard standing behind one but only serves as a pathway
Cover: A marquee where the plastic chairs are stored
Floodlights: Yes
Barrier: Metal fence
Bratwurst: €2 - not sampled
Beer: €1,30 - Veltins
Entrance fee: €3
Friendliness: 7/10
Programme: No
Weather: 8/10
Ground: 7/10
Home fans: 1/10



 

Sunday, April 6, 2014

SC Paderborn 3 FC St Pauli 0 - 2 Bundesliga

                                                                   
I haven't done this for a long time. Just found a random fixture to go to and well, went.

So I bought a ticket for this top of the 2 Bundesliga fixture. I had attended the previous fixture a few years ago, when Paderborn played in their dilapidated
Hermann-Löns-Stadion. But if I went into the tale of that particular day, well that would take an extra blog to explain it all. 

So it was off to the Benteler Arena, home of 3rd placed SC Paderborn 07. Opened in 2008 and with a contsruction cost of 25,000,000€, the Benteler Arena has a capacity of 15,300,  more than enough for the average crowd of 9,477.

Benteler Arena from the car park
 Let's not beat around the bush...I am no lover of the modern stadium. Yes, I know it makes the whole "football experience" a thousand times more pleasureable, but give me a crumbling terrace, or a pigeon poo stained seat in an aspestos roofed stand anyday. 

Having said that, Paderborn have got it right...almost!

The only gripe I have, is that there are no refreshments or toilet opportunities outside the ground.

 I popped into the club shop and picked up a programme. They were free. Not a bad start. A glossy 68 page affair with 28 pages of ads. But for the  grand price of zilch, I wasn't complaining.

Programme
 The ground is enclosed all the way round, with terracing at both ends. I was sat to the left of the home terracing. 
Home terrace (Finke fan terrace)
 On both sides there are seats running the whole length of the pitch
East Stand
 I was sat right at the front of the stand, next to a gangway, my preferred place, but there was ample legroom in front of me so I needn't have worried.
West stand
View of the North terrace
 One thing I also liked about the ground was that Paderborn had introduced this novel system to buying refreshments inside the ground. You went up to the counter, asked for whatever, and then handed over something called cash. If you didn't have the right money, don't worry, they gave you the balance in return, also in cash. None of this fuddy duddy old system increasingly favoured by other clubs, where you have to purchase a stadium card if you want a Mars Bar.
View from my seat
 Going into the game, Paderborn were in 3rd place in the league, whilst their opponents, St Pauli were in 4th. But Paderborn boasted two of the divisions top scorers in their ranks, namely Mahir Saglik (10) and Alban Meha (9). Add into the mix that St Pauli were the 2nd best away team in the division and I was looking foward to a humdinger.
Call the grammar police!

Paderborn play lovely free flowing football, and it really was a pleausre on the eye. A brace from Saglik, including this penalty...
...and another from Meha sealed a 3-0 win for the home side.

Saturday, January 18, 2014

I'm back! Sort of...well, no, I mean...I am.

But thanks to the efforts of my local football team to treat loyal fans like sub-human scum (see previous blog) will no longer be blogging about that malarkey.

Instead, I shall be blogging about my experiences as an Englishman living in Germany for the past xx years. I hope to dispel some myths, sereotypes and possibly uncover some truths. Some people may not agree with what I type. I can only say it will be based on my experiences. And there are a lot of them. So...without further ado, I give you:

PUNCTUALITY

Somewhere in the past, the people at the Stereotype HQ got together in their underground lair (I am assuming they have one but it is now closed due to Health and Safety regulations) and set out a bunch of stereotypes for most countries in the world. 

These were thankfully abolished in the early 90's, although someone forgot to tell the Top Gear presenters, when they rolled out a Mexican stereotype to describe something.

On my countless trips to France over the years, I have still yet to see a moustachioed man with a beret, in a striped t shirt, riding a bike, with a string of onions around his neck, going "He Haw, He Haw" as he rides by.


As if to prove my point, the above image was taken from a Google image search for "french person". It was the third on the list. Oh look, I've gone all Dave Gorman on you.

The Germans did not get of lightly, when the CEO of ACME Stereotypes signed their quota. The Germans are puntual, it said. Erm....No! In fact, the amount of times a German has actually been on time to a meeting or appointment in my 16 years here I could probably count on my two hands (one if you are from Norfolk...whoops, another stereotype right there).

I don't think my love of punctuality is a cultural thing. More likely to do with the fact that the only job I have ever had has been the British Military, first as a soldier then a civilian, where the norm was, turning up 5 minutes before a parade (that's an appointment to the normal folk). 

 When I was a young soldier, I was actually late for a parade. By a matter of about 4 minutes. My reward? 7 days in jail. And guess what? I was never late again.

To that end, I kinda have a "thing" for being on time. I remember an occasion I was driving to a football match, and the meet was scheduled for 12:00. At 12:15 with still no sign of one of our party, I left. There was uproar. Luckily this tale has a happy ending as just as I was driving down the road, the protaganist was walking towards the meeting place.

One of my bugbears is when people state a time, and they are 30 odd minutes late. Don't say a time then. Err on the side of caution. Say "Between 1 and 2". That way you have all your bases covered.

"I'll call you back in 5 minutes". Liar! We all know YOUR five minutes can be over an hour. Don't say it then. Say "I'll call you back as soon as possible". There...isn't that easier?

Deutsche Bahn! Please don't get me started on the myth that German trains are on time, clean etc.....

I could write a whole book over the utter ineptitude of this firm. However the crux of the matter is, no...your trains do not run on time. Even when the trains are on time, they aren't. Does that make sense? 


TV Shows. With a start time of 19:47, you would expect them to start on time. Noooooo! Again, why put it? Why not say 19:47 to 19:53. Oh yeah, I know why. Because if you DID put that, the programme would start at 19:58 wouldn't it?

Appointments. I once had a doctors appointment for 14:15. At 15:15 I was STILL in the waiting room. 

I often have to go to the job centre and not once have one of the little neo-facist, oafish, incompetent cockwombles EVER been on time. I will now experiment the next time my lisping Harry Potter-a-like bimbles out of his room, 3 minutes late for our appointment. I shall sit there in corridor for the requesite amount of time he left me waiting.

Apart from that, yes, very punctual!