A Walk in the Woods

TuS Heeslingen 2 VfL Bückeburg 1    

Hmmmm! How do I start this one? First of all, there was an incident on the coach on the way home. May I just say, I don't have to prove myself to anybody who reads this. I am who I am, you either choose to like me or not, believe me, I won't lose any sleep over it. And the fact that I have been following Bückeburg for two seasons home and away, and someone hasn't seen me before, says more about that individual than me. Rant over!

Twas'a beautiful sunny day, and our last away game of the season at Heeslingen, who were in 7th place in the league.

As it was the last game, I went with the players/supporters coach again. 

We finally arrive and it is as if someone has cut out a huge square of a pine forest and plonked a football ground in the middle.

Here it is!

Had my usual walk around the ground which was lovely. The main stand is very nice, and there are enough refreshment kiosks.

In blazing sunshine and in red kit today (awful) we kicked off. Heeslingen were the better team in the first half, but didn't really impress me much. 

Match day programme and ticket

Heeslingen had a couple of chances but I was happy with a 0-0 at halftime.

Main stand

In the 51st minute, a corner from our right, and Hessel glances a header in. This seemed to wake us up and we started playing some tasty football. Pascal Könemann tried an audacious lob, Bastian Könemann and Bubi Bremer flash shots just wide.

It was no surprise when in the 87th minute, a free kick from Jonas Abram eludes everyone in the area, except Bubi Bremer who turned and shot into the net for his 12th of the season.

However, straight from the kick off, Heeslingen score again, to ruin our hopes of a well deserved point.

We should have had a couple of penalties for handball in their area, the second being a stone wall pen.

Niko Werner saw red in the 90th minute, silly reaction but entirely understandable as Heeslingen were committing niggly fouls all afternoon.

Clubhouse

One of the lovely things about the day was seeing a deer, in the ground. He skipped behind the main stand.

Come on Bückeburg

Ratings

Friendliness:       8

Clubhouse:          6

Seats:              Yes

Behind goals:       Forest

Cover:              Main stand

Floodlights:        No

Barrier:            Metal fence

Bratwurst:          2€ - 7/10

Beer:               2€ - Krombacher

Entrance fee:       6€

Programme:          Free with entry 3/10

Weather:            9

Ground:             8

Home fans:          3                                                                                                       

No Sleep till Hildesheim

                                                                                

VfV Borussia Hildesheim 06 4 VfL Bückeburg 0

Having beaten Emden 3-2 the previous Friday we went into this game on a bit of a high. It was after this game that I stayed for a "few" drinks with a couple of the players. The lovely thing about alchohol is that it loosens lips, so I found out various things about various players and members of the coaching staff. 

I have learnt that Tim  Buchwald has a nickname which shall not be published here.

I have also learnt that Tobias Markowski sings "Morning has broken" at a VERY loud volume, repeatedly, gets drunk and loses his jacket.

And I saw a players naked arse (who shall remain nameless) wobbling a few metres away. I actually marked it a 7 out of 10 in the pub later.

Tobias "Cat" Stevens

A bit of added spice before a ball was kicked, was the Hildesheim manager Andreas Golombek spouting some guff in the local press, calling us "thugs" and that the game wasn't important. For the record, we beat them 1-0 at our place. Sour grapes Andreas? Either way comments like that have no place in the press.

Andreas Golombek

A penis

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hildesheim is only about an hour and 10 minutes away, and I was at the ground early as usual. Bought my ticket and had a wander around the ground.

Match day programme and ticket

 I really can't talk about the game as events within the ground overtook what was happening on the pitch.

I decided I would buy a ticket in the stand, as I wasn't sure whether it would rain or not. 

Main stand

I parted with my 8€ and found a seat in the wooden, that's wooden stand. The first thing that struck me was the state of the seats.

8€ gets you this...

The second thing I noticed was the ammount of fag ends strewn across the floor. No thanks.....

A coffee, methinks! That'll go down nice! So I entered the "VIP" lounge wanting to make my purchase.

VIP area my arse!

As I entered the wonderful VIP area, which had the grand total of fuck all, in there, the woman behind the counter looked at me as If I just just anally entered her cat! Not a good start.

I ordered a coffee. The evil titwitch behind the counter ignored me, but a troll of a man said "You're not allowed in here". Thinking he was joking I said, "Yes I am, I'm important".

"No you're not", he said. "Well, my wife thinks I am",  I retorted

 

"No, you're not", said the oaf! I lost my temper. "Who the fuck are you to tell me what I am or not, you fool?" The man didn't answer. I decided I was not going to spend another cent in this god forsaken place. And oh yeah, VIP area? With paper plates and plastic cups, really classy! Nobs!!

The game gets underway and everytime one of our players breathes near a Penisheim player, the crowd start moaning. It was pathetic. I say crowd, there were very little of them. 

We go 0-2 down and there is a foul by Nils Rinne. It happens. No malice intended. But this shrivelled old mushroom behind me on the terracing took offence. "He kicked him in the stomach", she whined. "Ooooh", said I, sarcastically. "Yes", she said as if to scold me. I couldn't help but laugh in her face.

At halftime I walk to the other side of the pitch, through the main stand. I was stared at, but upon inspecting the people, I thought I was in the alien bar in Star Wars. Never before have I seen such a collection of misfits and freaks.

Martin Prange went off injured in the 23rd minute, to be replaced by Hauke Voss and at the end of the game, Niko Werner posted a picture of his swollen ankle in Facebook. Looks like he has a space hopper attached to it.

Get well soon, Terror

 Oh yeah we lost 0-4 in the end. But it was another game where the actions of a few individuals spoilt my day. Hildesheim will play us next season, and I shall not welcome them at all. Maybe I should set up my own VIP lounge and sell them dog shit caked in breadcrumbs. 

In other news

Orient actually win at home. Ok, last game of the season against the bottom club, but they all count. Lovely to see some of the youngsters given a chance as Moses Odubajo scored goal of the season on his debut.

Wonder strike from Moses

Also Billy Lobjoit and Ally Omafemi came on for their senior debuts. A lot of dead wood has to be shifted in the summer. My guess is we will see a completely new team come August 18th.

Also Adam Yauch, alias MCA from the Beastie Boys died of cancer aged 48. 

Ratings

Friendliness:       4

Clubhouse:          8

Seats:              Yes

Behind goals:       Terracing

Cover:              Main stand

Floodlights:        No

Barrier:            Metal fence

Bratwurst:          2€ - Not sampled

Beer:               Einbecher - Not sampled

Entrance fee:       8€ seats

Programme:          Free

Weather:            5

Ground:             4

Home fans:          3