Predict the score

TSV OTTERSBERG 1 VFL BÜCKEBURG 3

If there were a prize for the most pathetic team, set up, ground and fans, then TSV Ottersberg would win. That's about all they did win on this blistering September Sunday, even their own predict a score was won by our Press Secretary Murat and coach driver Mario.

The ground...it's an athletics track, with a scaffold stand containing about 100 seats. And they wanted €2 extra to sit in it. 

For an extra €2 you get this

 Oh and don't even think about stealing one of their bins....just in case you had the sudden urge to stuff one up your jumper and try to sneak out, as they are all padlocked.

Don't even dare!

Bückeburg went into the game with quite a few injury problems, but the youngsters that came in aquitted themselves well. We went 1-0 down with an OG from Pascal Könemann, but equalised a few minutes later when his brother, Bastian hit a scorcher from the right, which the keeper could only push into the net.

Halftime 1-1 and my predict a score was looking good!

Programme and match ticket

Second half gets underway, and a double substitution from Ottersberg, with the wonderfully named Lord Kwabeme Hoopmann coming on. 51st minute and Bastian Könemann makes it 2-1 after a lovely pass from Nils Rinne.

Two minutes later, Versick, who really impresses on the left of the park, plays a ball flat into the box and Bubi Bremer arrives, Linekeresque to make it 3-1.

Thoroughly deserved the victory and now up to 10th in the league, but take on those crazy cats from Göttingen on Sunday. RSV are flying high in 2nd and also boast one of the leagues top scorers in  Özkan Beyazit. 

IN OTHER NEWS

Romford complete an early season double in the A12 derby againt Ilford, this time a Nick Reynolds strike taking all 3 points.

Orient actually won....at Swindon Town and their lovely mild mannered, not a facist at all, manager. (Tongue firmly in cheek)

W*** H** fans still fawn over this oaf

 This was a game I watched live on Al Jazeera, with the internet feed being interupted every few minutes by an advert splashed across the screen, which you could not get rid of for 30 seconds. Annoying! Even more annoying is that the advert I had was for some sort of Thai Lady dating agency. Good job Mrs Reject never popped her head in, no idea how I would explain that. "Erm, it's not what it looks like".

"Me love you long time"

 And what of the mighty Romford Raiders, I hear you cry? Well, they fought out a hard 7-6 win over Streatham, then thrashed Gosport 10-1 before losing in Chelmsford last night. 

On Friday I visited one of my old haunts, the Rüßheidestadion in Bielefeld, where I first followed a team with a passion, namely VfB Fichte Bielefeld. An old mate is the manager there, so I went along to show support, and what do you know, they get their first win of the season 5-3.
 
 RATINGS
 Bückeburg to Ottersberg: 115.3km
 Friendliness           : 6
 Clubhouse              : 7
 Seats                  : Yes
 Behind goals           : Nothing
 Cover                  : None
 Floodlights            : No
 Barrier                : Metal bar
 Bratwurst              : €2 4/10
 Beer                   : Hakke Brau (Not sampled)
 Entrance fee           : €8 seats, €6 standing
 Programme              : Free
 Weather                : 10
 Ground                 : 3
 Home fans              : 2  

Park the bus!

Rotenburger SV 1 VfL Bückeburg 0

Must not talk about the Olympics, must not talk about the Olympics. I will....but all in good time and in a seperate blog.

We had won our previous two games, including a 4-1 drubbing of VfL Osnabrück II last Saturday, with four wonderful goals. 

The first, a lob over the keeper from Bubi Bremer (who seems to have ditched his fluorescent green boots).The second was the same man, after a defence splitting through ball from Basti Könemann, leaving Bremer a one on one with the keeper which he took with aplomb.

Two goals, but no green boots

 Goal three was a work of art as Tobias Versick recieved the ball on the left, cut inside a defender a curled a wicked right foot shot from 30 yards, took a deflection but still a peach of a goal.

Substitute Bastian Hattendorf rounded things off with a carbon copy of the 3rd goal.

So, to Rotenburg. We beat this lot last season at their place 2-1 and drew 1-1 at home, and went into the match as league leaders (ok, after 1 game but it still counts).

Programme and match ticket

 155kms overland, or 110km using a normal route, to the 3000 capacity Stadion an der Ahe.

Before the game, there was something seriously wrong with their PA system, and we were all subjected to a period of white noise. I would have rather listened to a Scooter album than be subjected to that.

"Are...you...ready?"

 

 

We had a few missing with either injuries or work/study commitments, namely Bremer, Steininger, Heine and Schneckener.

In came Bastian Schmalkoch and Niko Schikora. 

For some obscure reason the match kicked off 15 minutes late.

After 10 minutes we were one down, the defence really all at sea, Rinne and Werner far too far apart from each other, allowing Acel France to smash the  ball into the net.

We finally started to get our act together and young Schikora was a constant thorn in the side of the RSV defence, Buchwald playing a more offensive role since the departure of Niklas Fritsche, also causing havoc.

Niko Schikora

 I liken Schickora to a wasp, buzzing around, making a nuisance of himself. To great effect!

We were taking the game to the home side, who seemed content just to hump the ball foward to their non existant forward line.

Rinne played a lovely cross field ball to the impressive Versick, who cut in once again and unleashed a shot from 35 yards which clipped the crossbar.

Halftime and we were 0-1 down, but creating chances aplenty.

At halftime, I bought a bratwurst and a shandy. To complete this feat I had to stand in one queue for food (not explained), and another for drinks (not explained), while some senile old duffer stood in the middle of the two, chuntering on to himself.

Second half gets underway and the bus was parked firmly in their half.

Rotenburger SV

 In the 63rd minute, manager Timo Nottebrock makes a double substitution, bringing on Buruk and Hattendorf for Buchwald and Basti Könemann.

In the 85th, Pascal Hertig came on for his debut, replacing Schikora (who has bright orange boots).

Niko's boots

In the 90th minute, Christoph Drewes gets booked for a second time for throwing the ball away and leaves the pitch, skipper NiKo Werner playing as a target man by now, curls the ball over the wall from 18 metres, and once again clips the crossbar with the keeper beaten.

So that was it. 0-1 defeat. I shall miss the next couple of games as I shall once again be home (London), including the cup game against TSV Havelse. Pffft!

RATINGS

Friendliness:     9
Clubhouse:        7
Seats:            Yes
Behind goals:     Bugger all
Cover:            One main stand
Floodlights:      No
Barrier:          Metal fence
Bratwurst:        €2 - 5/10
Beer:             Krombacher €2 (not sampled)
Entrance fee:     €6
Programme:        Yes - Free
Weather:          8
Ground:           6
Home fans:        4 

 

Hildesheim Revisited

                         
















VfV Borussia 06 Hildesheim 0 VfL Bückeburg 1

Football is back. Not the Euros, not Olympic football, but proper grass roots football. 

The summer. Went on 3 weeks holiday in June, which coincided with the wettest June for 100 years. 
 Euro 2012. England surpassed my expectations by actually getting past the group stage. But went out on penalties (again). The galling thing was the complete lack of skill or footballing ability shown by Englsnd. 

In all things Bückeburg, we said goodbye to a few players at the end of last season.
 Goalkeeper Tim Engler hang up his gloves, Martin Prange did likewise and is now the Assistant Manager. Jean-Paul Thom also decided to call it a day. Niklas Fritsche left as he actually lives and works in Hamburg and the travelling was becoming too much. Nico Rüffer left to play a couple of leagues lower, to get more first team football.

I had the away block to myself

  As always, we had strengthened from the youth ranks. Last time I was here we lost 0-4 and their managers comments of "thugs" still irked.

As I took my place on the terracing, 4 of our players were warming up and I didn't recognise any of them.

But then led by Bubi Bremer in his new lime green boots, the rest of the team came out to warm up. 

Bubi's new boots

 This was a cup game, the Niedersachsen Cup, now sponsored by the beer, Krombacher, now known as the Krombacher Cup. The winners of this would play TSV Havelse in the next round.

Match day ticket

 We started really brightly and dare I say were the better team. Hildesheim did have a couple of shots, but were woefully wide, whereas we didnt threaten that much but looked very comfortable.


The only down side of the first half was a yellow card for Bastian Könemann.


Half time and a very well played 0-0


And so to the second half. Apart from the starting 10 minutes, we totally dominated. Tim Buchwald was playing a lot more offensively, Bubi missed a one on one. Buchwald also finished neatly after a piece of Tiki Taka football, but the goal was rightly ruled out for offside.


After a Hildesheim attack, Nils Rinne held their foward just before the penalty area and was presented with a yellow card. The resulting free kick was superbly tipped round the post by Spilker.


In the 53rd minute, Nils Rinne gets booked for not retreating at a free kick, and subsequently finds himself sent off for two yellow cards.

Oops!

 Now with ten men, up against it. 72nd minute and Buchwald made way for Burak, and it was his free kick in the 78th minute, swung in from the left, and captain NiKo Werner glanced a header in to the net.


All that was left was for Paddy (that is what I shall call him) Spilker to produce another great save down low to his right, to deny an equalisor.


So all in all, a great performance. Yes, Hildesheim were wasteful, but in parts of the game, totally outclassed. Roll on Sunday when we host Osnabrück II.




 

A Walk in the Woods

TuS Heeslingen 2 VfL Bückeburg 1    

Hmmmm! How do I start this one? First of all, there was an incident on the coach on the way home. May I just say, I don't have to prove myself to anybody who reads this. I am who I am, you either choose to like me or not, believe me, I won't lose any sleep over it. And the fact that I have been following Bückeburg for two seasons home and away, and someone hasn't seen me before, says more about that individual than me. Rant over!

Twas'a beautiful sunny day, and our last away game of the season at Heeslingen, who were in 7th place in the league.

As it was the last game, I went with the players/supporters coach again. 

We finally arrive and it is as if someone has cut out a huge square of a pine forest and plonked a football ground in the middle.

Here it is!

Had my usual walk around the ground which was lovely. The main stand is very nice, and there are enough refreshment kiosks.

In blazing sunshine and in red kit today (awful) we kicked off. Heeslingen were the better team in the first half, but didn't really impress me much. 

Match day programme and ticket

Heeslingen had a couple of chances but I was happy with a 0-0 at halftime.

Main stand

In the 51st minute, a corner from our right, and Hessel glances a header in. This seemed to wake us up and we started playing some tasty football. Pascal Könemann tried an audacious lob, Bastian Könemann and Bubi Bremer flash shots just wide.

It was no surprise when in the 87th minute, a free kick from Jonas Abram eludes everyone in the area, except Bubi Bremer who turned and shot into the net for his 12th of the season.

However, straight from the kick off, Heeslingen score again, to ruin our hopes of a well deserved point.

We should have had a couple of penalties for handball in their area, the second being a stone wall pen.

Niko Werner saw red in the 90th minute, silly reaction but entirely understandable as Heeslingen were committing niggly fouls all afternoon.

Clubhouse

One of the lovely things about the day was seeing a deer, in the ground. He skipped behind the main stand.

Come on Bückeburg

Ratings

Friendliness:       8

Clubhouse:          6

Seats:              Yes

Behind goals:       Forest

Cover:              Main stand

Floodlights:        No

Barrier:            Metal fence

Bratwurst:          2€ - 7/10

Beer:               2€ - Krombacher

Entrance fee:       6€

Programme:          Free with entry 3/10

Weather:            9

Ground:             8

Home fans:          3                                                                                                       

No Sleep till Hildesheim

                                                                                

VfV Borussia Hildesheim 06 4 VfL Bückeburg 0

Having beaten Emden 3-2 the previous Friday we went into this game on a bit of a high. It was after this game that I stayed for a "few" drinks with a couple of the players. The lovely thing about alchohol is that it loosens lips, so I found out various things about various players and members of the coaching staff. 

I have learnt that Tim  Buchwald has a nickname which shall not be published here.

I have also learnt that Tobias Markowski sings "Morning has broken" at a VERY loud volume, repeatedly, gets drunk and loses his jacket.

And I saw a players naked arse (who shall remain nameless) wobbling a few metres away. I actually marked it a 7 out of 10 in the pub later.

Tobias "Cat" Stevens

A bit of added spice before a ball was kicked, was the Hildesheim manager Andreas Golombek spouting some guff in the local press, calling us "thugs" and that the game wasn't important. For the record, we beat them 1-0 at our place. Sour grapes Andreas? Either way comments like that have no place in the press.

Andreas Golombek

A penis

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hildesheim is only about an hour and 10 minutes away, and I was at the ground early as usual. Bought my ticket and had a wander around the ground.

Match day programme and ticket

 I really can't talk about the game as events within the ground overtook what was happening on the pitch.

I decided I would buy a ticket in the stand, as I wasn't sure whether it would rain or not. 

Main stand

I parted with my 8€ and found a seat in the wooden, that's wooden stand. The first thing that struck me was the state of the seats.

8€ gets you this...

The second thing I noticed was the ammount of fag ends strewn across the floor. No thanks.....

A coffee, methinks! That'll go down nice! So I entered the "VIP" lounge wanting to make my purchase.

VIP area my arse!

As I entered the wonderful VIP area, which had the grand total of fuck all, in there, the woman behind the counter looked at me as If I just just anally entered her cat! Not a good start.

I ordered a coffee. The evil titwitch behind the counter ignored me, but a troll of a man said "You're not allowed in here". Thinking he was joking I said, "Yes I am, I'm important".

"No you're not", he said. "Well, my wife thinks I am",  I retorted

 

"No, you're not", said the oaf! I lost my temper. "Who the fuck are you to tell me what I am or not, you fool?" The man didn't answer. I decided I was not going to spend another cent in this god forsaken place. And oh yeah, VIP area? With paper plates and plastic cups, really classy! Nobs!!

The game gets underway and everytime one of our players breathes near a Penisheim player, the crowd start moaning. It was pathetic. I say crowd, there were very little of them. 

We go 0-2 down and there is a foul by Nils Rinne. It happens. No malice intended. But this shrivelled old mushroom behind me on the terracing took offence. "He kicked him in the stomach", she whined. "Ooooh", said I, sarcastically. "Yes", she said as if to scold me. I couldn't help but laugh in her face.

At halftime I walk to the other side of the pitch, through the main stand. I was stared at, but upon inspecting the people, I thought I was in the alien bar in Star Wars. Never before have I seen such a collection of misfits and freaks.

Martin Prange went off injured in the 23rd minute, to be replaced by Hauke Voss and at the end of the game, Niko Werner posted a picture of his swollen ankle in Facebook. Looks like he has a space hopper attached to it.

Get well soon, Terror

 Oh yeah we lost 0-4 in the end. But it was another game where the actions of a few individuals spoilt my day. Hildesheim will play us next season, and I shall not welcome them at all. Maybe I should set up my own VIP lounge and sell them dog shit caked in breadcrumbs. 

In other news

Orient actually win at home. Ok, last game of the season against the bottom club, but they all count. Lovely to see some of the youngsters given a chance as Moses Odubajo scored goal of the season on his debut.

Wonder strike from Moses

Also Billy Lobjoit and Ally Omafemi came on for their senior debuts. A lot of dead wood has to be shifted in the summer. My guess is we will see a completely new team come August 18th.

Also Adam Yauch, alias MCA from the Beastie Boys died of cancer aged 48. 

Ratings

Friendliness:       4

Clubhouse:          8

Seats:              Yes

Behind goals:       Terracing

Cover:              Main stand

Floodlights:        No

Barrier:            Metal fence

Bratwurst:          2€ - Not sampled

Beer:               Einbecher - Not sampled

Entrance fee:       8€ seats

Programme:          Free

Weather:            5

Ground:             4

Home fans:          3

        

 

 

 

                                          SV Holtenhausen Biene 1 VfL Bückeburg 2               



Off we go again. Another away day, another jaunt through the villages and towns of Northern Germany.

For this game we travelled to the town of Lingen, where the two villages of Holthausen and Biene decided in 1931 to form a football team. Last season, as did we, they won their league, but have had a good season reaching 7th place.

An aside to this drivel, for the non German speakers amongst you: Biene is the German word for bee. Don't worry, there will be absolutely no reference or silly puns to do with bees for the rest of this blog.

Off we go

 So I was buzzing for this trip. But I shouldn't have been as on paper we were on a hiding to nothing. Travelling with only 13 players, and two of them were co-trainer Martin Prange, out a year injured, and reserve keeper Tobias Markowski, also not 100% fit.

As regular readers will know, when I go to away games, I set Emily (my sat nav) to avoid major roads, thus having a lovely drive across country, seeing places I would never normally see if I drove on the motorways. And so it was on this sunny Sunday. Everything was going well, until I reached the village of Biene.

Emily sent me into a new housing estate, and couldn't find her way out again. I was going round in circles and flapping about a bit. I took the decision to ignore her and drive back onto the main road.

Twas' a good decision as I ended up just behind the team bus and followed them in, through potato fields, until we finally arrived at the 1,800 capacity Stadion an Biener Busch.

The entrance

 I was in, and did my usual tour of the ground. Cute, with a main stand which was erected (snigger) in 2000.

The main stand

 Inside the ground, it was a hive of activity so had a chat with manager Timo Nottebrock, who kindly gave me his season ticket for the rest of the season. Such a lovely  gesture to which I am very grateful for.

I took my seat and awaited the match.

Match day programme and ticket

 For the first few minutes I couldn't concentrate on the game, as a fascinating creature appeared to my left, just the other side of the stand. I shall call her Zelda, as she was one of those 45+ women, desperately trying to clutch on to her youth, but too many late nights and cigarettes means her face has shrivelled to resemble a walnut. She needed a good iron!

Come on you Bees

Zelda thought she would look the part, by opening a bottle of pink champagne and quoffing it. Champage...at non league football. *Shakes head* Some people!


The hailstones came down and Zelda looked even more dicky arse with a pink umbrella, balancing a handbag, plastic beaker of champers, and a fag. Actually, not a bad trick, maybe she should audition for Holthausen's Got Talent.

"It's a no from me"

The game! Conditions were not the best as we had a torrential downpour just as the game started, but Bückeburg were on a level par with Holthausen. Playing some inventive football, always looking to get foward, but the Holthausen defence were also well equipped to deal with any threat. In the 42nd minute, we lost the ball in the Holthausen half, and they countered, and scored, 1-0. 

My spot for the second half

The second half and we absolutely dominated the home team. It was one way traffic. In the 53rd minute, Niko Rüffer passed to the tireless Moritz Heine, who squares it for Bastian Könemann for a 14 yard equalisor. It was no more than we deserved and I leapt for joy. People in Lima complained of a mild earthquake.


It was raining, but I didn't mind as I knew we would win. 81st minute and Martin Prange comes on. Another Bückeburg attack, Niko Werner is pushed in the area, penalty. Surprisingly it wasn't the skipper who took the kick, but Prange, and he spanked it straight down the middle, with his first touch of the game.


As the ref indicated two minutes of injury time, Tobias Markowski came on up front for a 30 second cameo. In that 30 seconds he showed more goal threat than Fernando Torres.

Tobias Markowski

So a 2-1 victory and thouroughly deserved. Hard to pick out a man of the match as everyone played exceptionally well, but I'm going to. Nils Rinne was a colossus for us, breaking up play, spreading the ball about. 


In other news, and there is a lot of it:


After my redundancy I have decided to start my own company, as a music promotor. Exciting times ahead. Will keep you posted.


Romford and Gidea Park RFC won their league, Romford Raiders did the same, but lost the play off finals to Chelmsford yesterday. Still, South East Trophy winners and league champions is a fantastic achievement.

Romford Football Club beat AFC Sudbury 1-0 in their final home league fixture of the season, Jamie Dicks with the solitary goal.

Leyton Orient are doing their best to get relegated, throwing a 2-0 home lead away v Yeovil Town on Saturday. 

We had a pair of ducks nesting and laid an egg in our garden. Decided to call them Gavin and Stacey. But now they have gone and so has the egg. Probably eaten by a predator.

Quack, Quack!

 Ratings

 Friendliness:          10/10
 Clubhouse:             8
 Seats:                 Yes
 Behind goals:          One area of hard standing
 Cover:                 One stand
 Floodlights:           Yes
 Barrier:               Metal fence
 Bratwurst:             €1.70 - 8/10
 Beer:                  €1.50 Veltins, not sampled 
 Entrance fee:          €7
 Programme:             Free
 Weather:               4
 Ground:                8
 Home fans:             4